Europos Parlamento nario
Justo Paleckio biuras Vilniuje: | Juokauja prancūzaiAmerikonas, škotas ir prancūzas pakliūna į avariją, praranda sąmonę ir pakyla į dangų pas Dievą. Dievas mato, kad žmonės dar jauni, sveiki, ir siūlo jiems sandėrį: jie sumoka po 500 dolerių ir jis grąžina jiems gyvybę. Amerikonas sumoka ir atsigauna ant operacinio stalo.
Gydytojas:
- Kaipgi taip, mes jau galvojome, kad tu nebegyvas!
- Ne, Dievas grąžino man gyvybę už 500 dolerių.
- O kas su anais dviem?
- Škotas derasi su Dievu, o prancūzas laukia, kol už jį sumokės valstybė.
Kokiu vynu vaišina prancūzas savo svečius?
Kad būtų kuo blogesnis ir jo negalima būtų gerti, o jeigu vynas geras, jis išgeria jį pats.
Prancūzas užeina į Niujorko užkandinę ir paprašo kokio nors amerikietiško patiekalo.
- Siūlome hotdogą, - atsako padavėjas.
O ką tai reiškia? - Karštas šuo...
- Bet tai bjauru! Ir visi jį valgo?
- Taip, - atsako padavėjas.
- Na, gerai, atneškite, paragausiu.
Padavėjas atneša jam bandelę su ilga dešrele viduje ir padažu. Pasipiktinęs lankytojas sušunka:
- O kitos šuns kūno dalies negalėjote įdėti?
Paryžiaus metro, ankstyvas rytas, piko valanda. Vyras stumdo savo kaimynę. Ta šaukia:
- Atsargiau, čia juk moterys!
- Moterys? Moterys, mano mieloji, šiuo metu dar miega.
Kodėl prancūzai pasakoja anekdotus apie belgus?
- Todėl, kad tai vieninteliai anekdotai, kuriuos jie gali suprasti.
Prancūzė parkuojasi. Ji mato vietą tarp mašinų, įvažiuoja ir trenkiasi į priekinę mašiną - bum … įjungia atbulinę pavarą ir vėl trenkiasi į kitą mašiną - bum ... Prieina policininkas:
- Madam parkuojasi pagal garsą?
Prancūzė vairuoja automobilį ir sustoja sankryžoje degant raudonai šviesai. Užsidegė geltona - prancūzė laukia. Užsidega žalia - prancūzė laukia. Ateina policininkas:
- Madam pageidautų kokios nors kitos spalvos?
Vienas prancūzų žurnalas vyrams paskelbė konkursą, kas geriau aprašys savo rytą. Pirmą vietą užėmė tokio kūrinio autorius: „Aš atsikeliu, pusryčiauju, apsirengiu ir važiuoju namo”.
Vienas prancūzas klausia kito:
- Ar žinai, kaip išgelbėti skęstantį Le Peną?
- Ne.
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The health care worker was admitted to a hospital on Monday morning.Updated: Tuesday, December 23 2014 10:03 PM EST2014-12-24 03:03:43 GMTA person who recently returned from West Africa is in isolation at Bellevue Hospital Center but a test for Ebola infection came back negative, according to the city's Health and Hospitals Corporation.A person who recently returned from West Africa is in isolation at Bellevue Hospital Center but a test for Ebola infection came back negative, according to the city's Health and Hospitals Corporation.Ebola virusRobert Wood Johnson University Hospital in New Brunswick has been designated as one of 35 Ebola treatment centers across the country.Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital in New Brunswick has been designated as one of 35 Ebola treatment centers across the country.Updated: Tuesday, December 2 2014 3:58 PM EST2014-12-02 20:58:42 GMTBellevue Hospital Center (file photo)The active monitoring period has ended for the last of the 114 health workers who cared for New York City's Ebola patient. 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This word comes as the global response to the outbreak takes on added urgency with new cases in Mali and reports that the death toll has surpassed 5,000.Updated: Wednesday, November 12 2014 10:21 PM EST2014-11-13 03:21:18 GMTThe Pentagon's Defense Advanced Research Project Agency, the futuristic tech division known as DARPA, is now doing research in the fight against Ebola. It is the same wing of the Department of Defense that helped create things like the Internet and GPS and invests in revolutionary technology for the military.Agency director Dr. Arati Prabhakar says her agency is looking for new proposals on ways to outpace infectious diseases like Ebola."What we've been working on is radical new approaches," ...The Pentagon's Defense Advanced Research Project Agency, the futuristic tech division known as DARPA, is now doing research in the fight against Ebola. 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